This weekend my parents went away. So i decided to go all out like a boss. I got a whole pizza from my favorite pizza joint, I went on a date, I did some things I haven’t done in a while, and then I had a giant chain smoking breakdown in my dad’s 1970s themed basement. I blame pizza. I know I made mistakes in the relationship and I did some things I can’t take back. Things like eating a whole large pizza by myself and drinking a whole bottle of chocolate rouge by myself. That was a not so chill move. I’ve gotten to thinking though, that the things we put into our bodies have something to do with the way we act and the way we act/ react has a great deal to do with what we eat.
I had a friend in college who had a bread addiction and so she tried very hard to refrain from eating it. Recently, one of my childhood friends was telling me she has been cutting our added sugars in her life and when she ate sugar/ when she stopped eating it she got headaches. I ask myself and you (my reader) is that the kind of relationship you want to have with food?
I mean this sounds bad, but when I used to hear people were allergic to things like gluetin (spelling?) I would think they were just trying to say they wanted to avoid it/ that they had a disguised eating disorder/ and I didn’t understand this. What I’ve come to realize is: omg! what a terrible judgement/ assumption I made. Let me give you a remote example though. If you’re cool and you watch The Mindy Show, you’ll find there’s an episode where the holistic doctor’s office and Mindy’s office run a race. Danny, one of the OBGYN doctors, has a pain in his leg and the nurse from his practice tells him that he has an emotional pain/ injury. I’m starting to think those sorts of feelings definitely apply to foods we eat. When I eat clean I feel better. When I drink tea even if I just had the shittiest day on earth I feel so much better. Do I love pizza? I love pizza so much. I have a pizza chant that goes like: pizza. pizza. pizzzaaaa zaaaaaaaaa. That’s dedication, ok?
Probably I should use common sense and only eat pizza in moderation. But if I can’t eat it in moderation (because I literally can’t control myself) , I think I need to just not eat it at all for a while. Take a break. Eating your feelings is real ok guys? I think the more real lesson I learned from eating pizza, running a mile, and then trying not to throw up is –
1.) don’t do that.
2.) I can’t eat pizza the way I used to.
3.) OH LOLOL I am lonely and I can’t fill that space with Pizza
4.) Pizza was the victim of me.
5.) I’m not really sure if this post is about pizza anymore.
6.) I’m very gay right now.
7.) I’m very sad right now.
8.) I wish I could apologize to my body and the pizza.
9.) abusing pizza is not the answer to your problems. no matter what
10.) I hope if you take anything from this post it is to eat things that make you feel good. And those things don’t necessarily have to be commercially or publicly deemed “healthy” but just to take care of yourself in that regard because no one else can do that for you. Also, when I talk about food and absorbing things I don’t just mean food I mean relationships with people too.
Finally, I promise I will post some photos from my trip soon. Once I stop being lazy.
xoxo, your pal Skinnings.