I haven’t posted on here in quite a while. But not for lack of trying! I’m going to blame half of my delinquency on the interwebs not letting me post because the interwebs and my five year old computer decided to be difficult. I’m going to blame the rest on being out in the world and wanting to tell this invisible readership what was going on, but not being able to put it into words. Sort of like when your stomach makes a noise when you’ve eaten something you know you shouldn’t have and now both you and your body know you’re going to be sick- see! no words necessary.
Well, friends whoever you are wherever you are much like slim shady ‘look whose back, back AGAIN.” Here are some updates. It’s strange to say, but for now I no longer live at home anymore. I have stumbled and tripped out of the nest. But, the nest is still a nice place to come back to once in a while. ESPECIALLY for a hot shower. I’m currently staying with some friends from college. This translates to me living on an air mattress that’s kind of low to the ground and keeping my stuff contained to the left hand side of a living room. Fear not, I will actually be moving into a room at the end of January/ February. And I am of course scouting jobs…so there’s that!
It’s exciting to graduate from single air mattress to maybe a double queen air mattress inside a room and somewhere to put my college flag. omg I am going to have a door!? I might even have a paycheck in sight? A year ago, I only knew there was the possibility of me moving out and getting a cool job and living somewhere that I liked. Now it’s more real but what I miss is having a family…having a poet family..my adopted family… and also my parents.
I have been fortunate enough to be moving in with some friends from college who are really loving and caring and have literally taken me in. I dreamed of independence for a long time. Now, having it is scary. As I write this, I’m want to share my life with the people I love and they’re far away from me in proximity. I promised myself that once I moved here I would try to volunteer at the local lgbtq community center.
I’ve been feeling so nervous and out of my element. I took the bus and got a tour of the local college. I arrived at the address, which was unmarked for safety reasons. When I got inside I found a bunch of women and the receptionist hanging out watching the television . They greeted me and I told them I was the person who called earlier and wanted to volunteer. The receptionist gave me a volunteer form and asked me why I wanted to join. I started telling her about how I feel like there needs to be more space for queer people of color. We’re talking and I’m just feeling really overwhelmed. When we’re done and I get up to leave she gives e a hug and says “Don’t worry honey, you’re home now”. This got me thinking about how I miss having a place I call home and the last few months I’ve been a wanderer. Maybe the next few months need to be spent on me, getting to know myself better and carving out a spot for myself.
I miss my family. Maybe I’ve said that before but I’ll say it again. Especially my adopted family. I don’t want them to forget about me while I’m out here.
My roommate said she’s been to a few different book stores here and I think that could be a fun adventure. Thanks for listening friends. I’ll be back with suggestions for places to grab a good book that don’t involve amazon. Amazon is great! But sometimes you just need to go on an adventure to get your next read.
The Life and Times of a Tea Fascist 